'Oh, he has high standard.'
'He hasn't met the right one yet.'
'He is too shy'
Sometimes to get them off my back, I will go along with their explanations and pretend that they have me all figured out. Don't get me wrong, they are good friends. It is just that I am still unsure about how I feel.
Tonight, we went to a coffee shop frequented by college students. We had hot chocolate to warm us up from the chilling cold. The conversation came up again. they know that there are girls around me that are attractive and they wonder why I never took any actions. I insisted that I don't know them well enough to ask them out on dates. They think that I need to man up to it and go out on dates with them so that I get to know them more. In order to get them off my back like I have done many times before, I made an excuse that I am reluctant to ask them out because I still like my bachelor life too much and not ready for a relationship. To my surprise, one of my friends suggested that maybe I am asexual or...you are not attracted to girls.
I admit I wasn't ready to tell them about how uncertain I am and about how I usually take to more notice of the men around me more in the subway or coffee shop than I do with women. It is moments like this that I realize how weak and pathetic I am. Maybe one day I can say this to them 'I don't know, but I'm just more attracted to men'.
